Chinese stories

I guess I’m coming a little late to this debate, but I don’t think the discussion has died down yet. (And I know the whole thing is totally bizarre, and agree that the law is absurd.) I found out about the discussion after reading a recent op-ed piece by Slavoj Zizek in the NYT about China’s new order governing the reincarnation of Living Buddhas. I wanted to find out more about the order, because I was interested in the language and logic behind it. Unfortunately most of the English-language coverage does not help very much, which makes it nearly impossible to form an opinion.

Suprisingly, or not, the most well-informed artilce is a China Daily/Xinhua story which does a pretty good job of laying out the major issues and has some good translations of the order. They note that temples are the main focus of the law, and that they must get permission for the reincarnation of a Living Buddha.

Then we have Newsweek’s Matthew Philips who writes, “In one of history’s more absurd acts of totalitarianism, China has banned Buddhist monks in Tibet from reincarnating without government permission.” Wait, so now the monks have to get permission before they die to reincarnate? Now I’m confused.

Jane Macartne with The Times isn’t much help either: “Tibet’s living Buddhas have been banned from reincarnation without permission from China’s atheist leaders.” Is it me, or are they being just a little sensationalist?

Shanghaiist isn’t much help, nor are any of the other articles linked to from there. Did anyone other than Xinhua/CD actually take a look at the law? From reading those articles it seems to me all of the later pieces are based upon the Xinhua release, and Zizek was the only one who read it correctly and/or did his homework and got it right.

Out of curiosity I took a look at the order, and noted a few interesting things: Continue Reading »

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My wife likes to read the sohu forums, and found this funny post today. Here is my translation. The premise behind the stories is that the husband has not come home all night. So what does the wife do?

1)
The wife doesn’t sleep all night.
The next day she goes to a private detective and gives him 2,000 yuan to collect evidence that her husband is cheating on her. After one week the husband receives a court summons telling him his wife wants a divorce. In the end the husband is found to be guilty and all of his assets go to his wife.
This is a Beijing wife.

2)
The wife doesn’t sleep all night.
The next day she goes to the beauty parlor for a perm, then gets a facial done and buys some sexy underwear. That night she lights some candles and makes dinner. Altogether she spends 400 yuan. After her husband gets home that night and sees his sexy wife, his jaw drops down so low you could put an egg in his mouth, and deeply regrets what he did. He swears he won’t let her leave him for his whole life.
After one week his wife writes an essay entitled “How can I keep my cheating husband?” which is published in a magazine, and she gets a 500 yuan payment.
This is a Shanghai wife.

3)
The wife doesn’t sleep all night.
The next day she dresses seductively and calls up her first love: “Hi, do you still remember me? I’m so lonely, and am free tonight…”
Her husband continues his affair, as does the wife, and both are content.
This is a Guangdong wife.

4)
The wife doesn’t sleep all night.
The next day she gets up and cleans the house until it’s spotless, then washes and folds her husband’s clothes, and leaves a note for him telling him to remember to take his medicine. She goes to her mother’s house.
Later the husband realizes his mistake and goes to his mother-in-law’s begging forgiveness, and swears to his wife that if she returns with him they will live happily ever after.
This is a Sichuan wife.

5)
The wife doesn’t sleep all night.
The next day, the wife sharpens both of the big chopping knives in the house, and decides to face him holding one in front and one in back. She says to herself: “Hmph, either the fish will die or the net will break.”
Later the husband returns home to her like a good little boy.
This is a Hunan wife.

6)
The wife doesn’t sleep all night.
The next day she gets up, rolls up her sleeves and goes into the kitchen. Usually she can eat four ounces of noodle soup and a fried cake, but today she devours one pound of noodle soup and ten fried cakes.
After finishing eating, the wife rubs her big belly and lies on the bed and wails: “How will I go on living? It’s up to you…”
The husband does not divorce her because he had an affair, but because a half a year later she is as fat as a pig…
This is a Shanxi wife

7)
The wife does not sleep all night.
The next day she returns, crying to her mother’s home, and tells her brother about the affair. Her brother calls her aunt’s brother and uncle’s brother. All of them come wielding clubs and wait along the road to the husband’s house…
Later the bruised husband goes to court wanting a divorce. Negotiations come to nothing, and the court rules in favour of a divorce, with the assets being split in half, and the wife having to pay for the husband’s medical bill.
This is a Northeastern Wife

The wife does not sleep all night.
The next day she gets up and runs over to her husband’s office yelling and crying, and tells everybody about her husband’s affair with their “home-wrecker” co-worker, and the company agrees to deal with the matter.
Later they divorce, and the husband marries his young co-worker one year later.
This is a Shandong wife.

9)
The wife does not sleep all night.
The next day she gets up and goes to her mother’s home. She leaves behind a note saying “take care” and “give me 200,000 yuan if you don’t want to divorce.”
This is a Hebei wife.

And my wife is from… Hunan!! Aaaaah, zenme ban?? I’m coming home straight from work tonight, honey! Happy anniversary!!!

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