Chinese stories

 Some of the China blogs have some really great photography (particularly Opposite End of China, and I Spy Shanghai). Unfortunately my blog template just puts out these tiny little pictures. Plus they were taken with a cellphone camera. But anyway, here’s a few interesting photos from around China:

This is at the security check at the Guangzhou airport. The box reads:  刀具自弃投放箱. There were two knives already in it when we passed by.

From the 朝内菜市场 toward the end of the Spring Festival holiday. They are now closed for renovation. At first this took me back to the SARS days when I went to the local Jinkelong to find that everyone had already bought everything in the damn place!

Vintage Red Flag car parked in 东四九条 outside the Red Capital Club, a small hutong kitchen. I haven’t been, but based on the dianping.com reviews, I don’t think I’ll be going anytime soon. Basically they all say “this place is decorated nice and all, but its really just set up to cheat foreigners.”

At first I didn’t realize why cars in the hutongs set these wooden boards against their tires. Then it was pointed out to me that they are there to protect the tires from all the dogs that come and pee on them.

Not your typical nailhouse: A Beijinger told me that this is a 钉子户, but unlike the famous pictures of a little house holding out against the big, bully developers, this is the corner of the military hospital complex at 军区总医院 on 朝内北小街. The street goes from a four lane boulevard to a three lane road. I guess the city wanted to widen the three lane part, but doesn’t dare cross the military landlords who have been holding out.

A train of busses crawls along Changan Avenue.

I don’t get this one. From the line 5 subway, it reads: 安全锤. But the hammer is behind a glass or plastic panel. So you break the plastic to get the hammer, then what?

Construction in the hutongs.

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Here’s a funny one that’s been going around the office (probably some errors in my understanding of the dialect):

Two Chongqingers traveled to Beijing to see the sights. Because they were not familiar with the layout of Beijing, they opened up a map while on a bus.
First guy: “Lets first kill to Tiananmen, then kill to the Chairman Mao Memorial Hall, then kill to Zhongnanhai…”
Second guy: “OK, we’ll follow your route and kill everything.”
(Note: Chongqingers pronounce “go” as “kill”)
Too bad for them, they were reported by the other passengers, and once they stepped off the bus they were taken immediately to the police station, and were only let go after explaining themselves for several hours.

The two fellows went to Tiananmen Square, and were momentarily speechless at the sight of all the people…
The first guy can’t take it any longer: “Why don’t you open fire?”
Second guy: “If you don’t open fire first, how can I open fire?”
As soon as the words were out of their mouths, they were taken to the police station.
(Note: Chongqingers say “open your mouth” like “open fire”)
 
One week later the two were let out of jail, and stood there looking at each other.
First guy: “That’s great, our pockets are empty. Where can we go to get some bullets?”…The guards ran over and held them to the ground.
(Note: Chongqingers say “money” like “bullets”)

Finally, the PSB sent out a notice saying that Chongqingers are strictly prohibited from speaking the Chongqing dialect during the Beijing Olympic Games.

两个重庆人到北京观光旅游，由于对北京的地理环境不熟悉,就在公交车上打开地图研究.
甲：”我们先杀到天安门，然后再杀到毛主席纪念馆,最后杀到中南海…”
乙：”要得嘛，我们就按到你说的路线一路杀过切。”
(注解:重庆和四川人说的杀是指去的意思)
不幸被同车群众举报，下车后即被扭送至公安机关，交代了若干小时情况后才被放出。
 
甲乙两人来到了天安门广场，看着人来人往,两人一时无语……….
甲忍不住：”你浪个不开腔（枪）喃？”
乙：”你都不开腔我浪个敢开喃？”
话音刚落，又被广场群众扭送至公安机关。

一周后两人走出了看守所大门，你看看我，我看看你.
甲说：”这哈安逸了，包包都遭整空了，哪点去搞点子弹嘛？”……门口的武警冲上
来将两人按倒在地。
(注解:子弹在重庆和四川方言里是钱的意思)

最后，国家公安部发出通知，严禁奥运会期间重庆人到北京讲重庆话.

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